Wasting Time in Korea

BEWARE, BEWARE, BEWARE

2009-12-15T07:40:00.000-08:00

I smell a new horror movie in the works

"Stop thinking so much"

2009-10-18T18:02:00.000-07:00

...is what a friend suggested I do. And I am doing so.

I keep forgetting that I have met a lot of awesome people here. It's been great. I will continue to keep an open mind about people.

Military Rape Awareness Week

2009-10-14T19:35:00.000-07:00

I imagine most of you know of this already, but October 12th to 16th is Military Rape Awareness Week. Shockingly, the latest report from the Department of Defense reports that 1 of 3 women in the military are raped while in service. This video of a former officer telling her story on the streets of NY really got to me and I hope it will stir something in you as well.

That was really hard

2009-10-08T08:31:00.003-07:00

I'm not sure she understood but I think I told her what's what....

now for the harder/more awkward part

This really is hard

2009-10-06T05:47:00.000-07:00

effing deuce, she's so nice, calling me everyday, laughing all the time

why can't I tell her I just wanna be friends?

Sick & Tired of Fussin' & Feudin'

2009-09-29T07:07:00.000-07:00

Ugh, I am at a point where I just can't bother to tolerate Asian American generational conflicts and misunderstandings anymore.
stories and tales of parents or grandparents forcing their ignorant bigotry onto their unwilling children.
Understanding our parents/grandparents from a cultural and historical viewoint is important but GOD there are so many times I just want to yell "shutup shutup that's ignorant/that's racist/that's offensive/how could you SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!?"

I've always wondered what it's like to grow up in a 3rd generation/4th generation mindset. I know it's not a completely different experience...but lordly lord oh lord how it could have made my family a little less conflicted.

I wonder...if I have children someday...I wonder...how will they identify themselves? Ultimately the choice lies with them, but I'll be damned if my little girl rebels against me and turns into the next Michelle Malkin. Ugh, chills down my spine.

My aunt had asked me the other day if I wanted a boy or a girl and I immediately said 'girl'. I don't know why. I think boys are little shits, personally, who on average grow up into the big turds that men are.

...that opinion might have something to do with my current job...iono, maybe.

Hmmm. Yes I would like a girl. And leave it at that.

2009-09-29T00:15:00.001-07:00

I've become very needy lately.....=/

Congratulations!

2009-09-24T23:23:00.000-07:00

When a man shares the news that they and their wife are having a baby together, I don't usually expect to hear things like "Good job man."

YEAH, NICE JOB KNOCKING UP YOUR WIFE BRO WITH YOUR PENIS, HEH HEH.

2009-09-23T08:49:00.001-07:00

I wonder what I'm trying to find right now.

Give me my old, tiny Walker single back.

Give me back that May 2008 when I felt like I had accomplished something.

and my friends right next to me, little hesitation in sharing things we need to share.

2009-09-13T17:52:00.001-07:00

My mom called me the other day. Our conversations have not changed since I was in high school - she asks me the usual questions (did you eat, are you sick, are you sure you ate, did you eat with rice, etc) and I answer with the usual half-hearted replies (mmm, mmm, mmmmmm, uh-huh, NO MOM I'M NOT GOING TO DO _______).

"Chusok is coming up. You need to give some money to your grandmother."
"uh....we'll see."

Chusok, that Korean Thanksgiving holiday, is reserved for paying respects to your elder relatives (both alive and deceased but mostly the deceased ones). Something about just giving money, though, puts me off. When my mother tells me to do it, I automatically say no.

I think I still have a big authority problem, especially with her. But I was washing my dishes later in the day and I thought to myself....'what should I do for Chusok?'

'oh, probably just hang out with the fam.'
'I should get grandmother something.'
'maybe money.'

Yeah, I definitely have a problem with my mother.

Feels like Insomnia

2009-09-10T19:44:00.000-07:00

I've been having these weird bouts of insomnia for the last three days. I'm lying there in bed and suddenly my mind begins running a mile a minute. Last night I couldn't stop thinking about my old church and THEN I started running imaginary scenarios where I came back to visit for some reason that I could not think of. This morning when I thought back on the two hours of tossing and turning and rapid day/night dreaming I was doing, all I could think was "geez that was a stupid waste of time."

I'd left my church life and my religious upbringing behind a while ago but I've always wondered what happened to that community after my family moved away from Santa Maria. It seems like everything became better - they were finally able to buy their own church instead of renting/sharing with another church, more people joined (unfortunately they're all still Korean) and it seems like they finally opened a youth group program of sorts. They were a community for me, but one that I could never really open up to....which is sad. I like them but I could never really get along with all of them.

Russian Roulette ain't the same without a gun

2009-08-30T09:06:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, as I was planning my Japan trip, one of my aunts (who had recently visited Japan the previous year) shared her experiences in Japan with me. Basically, she broke them down for me into these bite-sized pieces of information:

1) Portions of restaurant food in Japan are significantly smaller than the one's you'd find in Korea.
2) Japanese people are so short! (Her words exactly ~ and then I lol'd)
3) Most of the Japanese people she saw were really ugly.

And after my 5 days in Osaka, I guess I have my own observations about her observations.

1 - Compared to what you'd call a Korean meal, yes, Japan food is pretty fucking weak in terms of quantity. The side dish is very important to almost every Korean meal and Korea likes to pile those on and on. Japan, though, had some great singular meals that didn't really need any additional sides. Okonomiayki, for example, basically had all the staples of a Korean meal inside of it in one convenient pancake (the starch part, or rice, meat, veggies and a lot of fish sauce). But I'm guessing that Japanese people don't eat that Oko~ stuff on a daily basis.

2. I would love to do a simple research survey into what this Korean and Japanese generation's teenage/child group eats these days. Short, you say? Every man and woman visibly under 30 was nearly as tall as I am (I'm about 5'11''). Stereotype or simple physical observation, whatever it is, it's no longer true for Korea or Japan these days....

3. This was a nice reminder of the definition of 'beauty' can be so universal in some ways.

~~Korea's standard of beauty is different on a physical level (a good example is how some people think I'm remotely 'handsome' while back at home I am that asian dude who is way too pale) but its superficiality is all the same. Rigid and unrealistic body measurements (America's barbie-ish hip/bust measurements that are still prevalent and Korea's similar 'S-curve' waist line and the 'V-face'), fascination with whitening up the human face (the infamous double-eyelid surgery, made to make your eyes bigger, is a procedure done often to teenage girls here and back at home) and the same stupid sexploitation of women in various media outlets.
~~With that in mind, it's my opinion that the most 'mainstream' image of a beautiful woman (in Korea) is something that is limited to just one type of body, one type of face, one type of make-up design and like, four types of hairstyles. To summarize - it's kinda like this quote I overheard once - "Man, all the women in Korea look ALL ALIKE." Slightly racist hurrdurr 'All Asians Look Alike' comment aside, I can't help but think that there is an air of truth to it - until you remove all the makeup and muss their hair. Please call me out on this if this is not really what is/if you think this is bullshit.
~~Oh, right. "Japanese people are so ugly." Naw, not really ugly, just very different. All very diverse. I loved 'people watching' while I was there - so many awesome fashion styles. Wish I could emulate it myself but it's not something I can pull off.

~Anyway, I wanted to ask your opinion about this whole...women being sexy and not being afraid of it. I understand how sexual expression is important to a woman's identity and empowerment but where are the boundaries of 'free sexual expression' and 'NSFW'?
~Korea has a well-known censorship panel which prohibits most of the 17+ music videos or commercials from airing before 10 pm on basic cable. These sorts of MV's come in flavors such as:

and basically, almost every other commercial with Lee Hyori:

Ok so, that's just...stupid reinforcement of sexual norms, right? Just because they're raunchier videos released in a slightly stronger conservative atmosphere doesn't make it progressive change, does it? Is this fucking 'empowerment'? Or am I missing the whole 'if you've got IT, flaunt IT' idea of sexual empowerment and expression? But then....aren't they just reinforcing what 'IT' is while alienating all the other women who flaunt their version of 'it'? But 'it' isn't 'IT' and when they start flaunting their 'it' all the smart lil' heterosexual male "sociologists" start gagging privately at 'it' and make fun of 'it'?

This has been on my mind lately - how men and women should let their bodies be portrayed and how they should express themselves sexually AND publically. Please let me know what you think about it all.

Uncle Touchy's Naked Puzzle Basement

2009-08-26T09:34:00.001-07:00

The title for this post is from Patton Oswalt's new stand-up cd. Patton Oswalt has become my favorite stand up comedian, along with David Cross and old-school Nick Swardson. Check out their work sometime.

Oh, so I promised a post on Japan. To summarize, Japan was a great reminder of how I am still a very priveleged person. I have never felt so powerless as I roamed around Osaka, not knowing where the fuck I was and not understanding one word I saw on buildings or restaurants or maps or anything! Man, it's nice to know how priveleged I am now to be able to work in a foreign country and still manage to live comfortably with a semi-decent fluency in the native language (with a pretty good job with a good wage standard, which I just realized as well).

We (the BROS and I) just hung out in Osaka for most of the trip, along with a quick trip to Nara and Kyoto. Shit was expensive, lemme tell you what, so not much traveling was done. Also, we all pretty much agreed to avoid the giant clusterfuck of people that is Tokyo. To be honest, I felt like I got a good experience of what Japan is - whatever that means. It sure doesn't mean that I saw weird shit walking down the street every five seconds because the Weeaboo's had it wrong! No I didn't see random cosplaying gothic-lolita's walking down the street (I saw a couple but I expected more...) and just...you know....RANDOM stuff. But it was all pretty normal and quite stylish.

And hanging out with the deer was pretty awesome.

I'll continue this entry later. I've got a lot of my mind lately. I hope you are all staying safe. Eat food and stay full~

Boy I should never, never, ever be a teacher

2009-08-25T10:00:00.000-07:00

oh you new, incoming teachers, so full of hope and dreams; you make me want to work harder than ever at my own teaching job. then I am immediately reminded of the disillusionment and disappointment I went through as my students continued to piss on my lesson plans until I simply gave in and half-assed every lesson while I let the golden shower continue, an experience you will eventually face as well.

Be jealous

2009-08-03T09:27:00.001-07:00

next week I am going to Japan next week with Min. it will be like the honeymoon I always dreamed of. will have pics and updates. bye bye. contrary to what you may think, I am thinking of you and miss you.

Hello Hello

2009-07-07T18:40:00.000-07:00

Things have been a little too busy for my taste but now, thankfully, I've got some more time to just relax.

Finals week has begun and everyone is busy getting tests ready. Even I'm a little busy, reviewing some English in-class with the students.

I've also been trying to get out a bit more, so in an effort to make you jealous of my adventures, here are some pics.

Lotte World serves as Korea's answer to Disneyland and it does the job pretty well. While you won't find many original attractions, you will find the same kind of childish charm to the park that keeps pulling you back for more and more.

I think my favorite was the Indiana Jones knock off "Pharoah's Revenge". Everything from the vehicle to the giant stone ball rolling towards you screamed "Dr. Jones! Dr. Jones!".

I've also become a bit of a mountain hiker lately. Icheon has wayyy too many mountains and I've grown tired of treadmills in my gym. I'm not exactly a big fan of mountain hiking but it's exciting to do since there are so many mountains and so many trails you can explore. I could literally get lost and die out here and it would be a pretty awesome death (maybe death by a hidden mountain animal that the world has never seen before.)

Hopefully, there will be more adventures to come. I am looking forward to a month of vacation and possibly a trip to Japan. Here's to a good summer!

oh yeah, you, shutup

2009-05-18T11:38:00.000-07:00

Point #2

please stay out of the Corea vs. Korea argument.

Yes, I realize that all nationalist historians in Korea make many outrageous claims suggesting that old Chosen actually called themselves Corea for a long time, a name they were labeled with by both the U.S. and Japan, two of the biggest Imperialist countries during the turn of the 20th century and it only serves to further prove how Coreans or Koreans or Chosen peeps can be blindly nationalistic.

My question is, why do you care?

Aside from your 'objective' view on the whole matter, does it really give you a wedgie to hear such claims? Tampering with history, I can understand you'd be peeved, but a country with a history of oppressive domination will want to assert themselves. They could probably do better with the rationale. I can't say it's exactly like the difference between calling it 'the Phillipines' and 'the Filipines' but there's a general...related point - they're still throwing off the last remnants of colonization. Do you really get to say STFU?

Can I also comment on this

2009-05-18T11:26:00.001-07:00

lesson planning is one thing - I do it quite half-assed actually. the process of making lessons is no longer relevant to me now that i've been assigned meaningless 'teach out of the book' responsibilities.

lesson planning for a demo lesson is quite possibly the most showy, fake circus act I've ever been apart of. Absolutely nothing about a demo lesson reflects how my average class goes. Middle school boys do nothing but perfect their rock-paper-scissors techniques, or comment on some aspect of my lesson that could possibly be related to porn, or voice their independent opinions on something (which they need to work on because right now it's limited to that teenage 'Why should I do this?' and their only reasoning is 'Why should I?' over and over again). A demo lesson does not accurately reflect who they are because they are too active to sit and go through such a simple lesson most of the time.

i will set up a hidden camera and then you will see how disorganized a class of mine will go.

I can't stand it, I can't stand by you

2009-05-18T10:53:00.000-07:00

- I guess the term 'ricetarded' could be considered clever when it's used to describe those outrageously violent Korean politicians but it's also really racist. Like, stupidly racist. You most likely have asked others/yourself why you can't call other black people 'nigga' when they perpetuate such a derogatory word amongst themselves. I'm too lazy to link to what I'm talking about so sorry. Also, I didn't know the people I would link to would actually pay attention. No that's a lie, I'm actually quite pleased about that.

- G and I went to the GI base-centered town in Seoul, it really reminded me of certain parts of Koreatown (and a little bit of Westwood). And I got scared. I was on my guard. I was suddenly expecting someone to yell something slightly derogatory about asians (or something like that) and that it would be directed towards me. It was quite literally the first time I did not feel safe in Korea.

- Went to a show. It had music from Korean indie bands and japanese indie bands. I found a dude friend to go see shows with. He is from Wisconsin and enjoys skating in his free time, but does not do any substance abuse, which always seemed to be the stereotypical thing that punks and skaters enjoyed. He is both and enjoys none of that stuff. Refreshing. Indie Korean music is just as slightly pretentious but not enough to be unenjoyable. They also wear things you wouldn't wear usually in public (bike helmets and suspenders and stuff oh my). These are all observations of a dude who just got into this scene but will never really understand it because he's not apart of it.

- Three months left in my contract and I have already clocked out. Sad.

I'm gonna link to other articles like a big boy!

2009-04-29T19:15:00.000-07:00

One of the many habits one picks up while they're living/studying abroad is the habitual need to blog about the little differences between *insert your native country* and *insert the other country you've got a boner for because you think the culture/lifestyle/history is fascinating in a really infantilising (is this a word?) manner*

.......hmm, that sounds kind of harsh, sorry. =| .

Granted, I give a lot of people 'the benefit of the doubt'; that magic blanket that turns your intentions of "whatever-whatever-whatever-abroad" invisible to me. I try not to pry into your mindset, your politics, your opinion on Asian women, etc. I'm certainly not one to judge your reasons for being here - I didn't come here to better the English fluency of this country as it continues to grow into the global market. I came out here just to 1. make money 2. get some teaching experience and 3. meet my extended family.

Buuuuuut then, for some reason, your position of power (yes, despite our low and almost non-existent level of authority, being foreign English speaking-Teachers puts us in a position of power), your B.A./M.A./certification in whatever you studied and your penchant for researching every stupid newsworthy thing in Korea convinces you that you have the ability to be a competently funny blogger, poking fun at the little quirks of Korea and adding some good ol' Western insight to the mix.

Honestly, there are a number of things you could deconstruct here in Korea. It's a buffet, a Smörgåsbord of social and cultural "wtf"s to keep you writing forever. But please stop writing about it - this is a plea to you foreign, heterosexual and most likely white male bloggers.

Point Number 1: Those sorts of critiques are meant to come from inside the system. Leave it to the progressives that grew up with a better understanding of Korean society.

When we critique the current gender/sexuality landscape of Korea, for example, we sort of lose the message. Indeed, the Korean taboo's of pre-marital sex are a fascinating topic that can, nay SHOULD be expanded on by analyzing how Korean women's bodies are being defined, who claims ownership of women's bodies in this culture and ultimately how some Korean women are trying to defy those ideas (THEY EXIST! I know, Korean feminists! So shocking...) but when you place the blame on those gosh-darn backward (and dare I say SAVAGE and TRIBAL) Eastern-Confuscian ideals...well, you're not really analyzing much there, are you? Apart from another sociologist that may peruse your, uh, I mean, our blogs, you're telling the rest of the English-speaking blog-stalkers that Korea can't possibly produce 'critical-thinkers', at least, not like the West does! Nothing says you're an open-minded, progressive, critical-thinking sociologist like implying that Korean adults suck because they're not as sexually open (or in your case, I guess, promiscuous?) and independent as you! I mean, us! But that's not their fault, they don't know any better, those poor, ignorant CONFUSCIAN SAVAGES.

Oh and that whole anecdote about you looking for some Asian ass - keep that to yourself. And it's no wonder why I suspect any white man who has taken some East Asian studies course 'for personal interest.'

Highs & Lows

2009-04-12T08:09:00.001-07:00

I smiled the other day because one of my students knew the word 'transgender' and was aware of what it meant.

But then I frowned when he used it as an insult for another student =(

It's the little things that make you really happy or just make you hold your head in your hands and just silently ask 'WHY'.

This job has made me increasingly paranoid

2009-04-07T08:26:00.000-07:00

Every now and again I catch one of my co-teachers talking to another co-teacher of mine in Korean - away from me and quietly. I try not to easedrop but lately I've heard my name come up in these conversations now and again. So, they are most likely talking about me. They also know that I can understand a fraction of Korean - hence the quiet discussion part. Am I nuts for suspecting they are just gossping about me? Are they talking about my poor performance as a teacher so far? It makes me want to cry whenever I think these thoughts and it's quite pathetic of me to be so paranoid about my co-workers.

But I am being evaluated weekly. I just found this out. Lately, I've been working and teaching very poorly. After a half-semester of adapted lessons, some of my co-teachers became fed up with me wasting time so they've assigned me certain parts of each chapter from a really mediocre textbook. I've been instructed to do these parts first and follow the book, not come up with my own material. "If you have extra time left after these parts, THEN you can do teach some of your own material." This isn't a bad thing though - these kids are being tested only on material in their textbook and in the end, they need to pass tests.

But Lord o' Lord how those lessons suck. The English is fine but it's all quite unorganized and I end up teaching a bunch of different English for a clusterf*ck of different situations not related to each other at all. I'm not really creative either so I can't make any good games around them. What happens in the end is that my boys are really, really, really bored and their attention and effort levels just plummet. In turn, that really discourages me and I end up not caring about the lesson or if they're learning anymore. It's really quite disappointing. So I'm going to try a little harder to put a more fun spin to these lessons - I do want to re-contract with this school for another year but I don't want to waste their time and money.

Also, my camera is still at home and my parents don't know how to fix it unless I'm there and Costco says the warranty already expired. I think I might just buy a camera here, one of those fancy schmancy digital high quality cameras, so hopefully I'll have some pictures for you soon.

Also, if someone gives me a phone number...I should call them first, right? Right? Even if it's just to talk, right? I'm not asking them on a date, right? Platonic friendships don't seem to exist here.

Uh?

2009-03-16T22:13:00.001-07:00

Hi friend. I often forget that I have some responsibilities that need constant attention, like this blog. I haven't been really busy lately - just really lazy. A lot has happened since the new year started, so I'm going to try to sift through it all and find the important stuff.

I guess I should mention that I've decided to stay another year here. Ultimately, this decision is about money. When I went home this last January I found out that I'll be paying the school back for more loans than I had originally thought. So most of my paycheck from this year's earnings will be going to that. I'm going to need another year to have some emergency fund money for things like grad school (yeah right...) or for other things that require money.

There are lots of other things that I considered as well. The job market at home is...well, pretty bad, obviously. In contrast, it's almost absurdly easy to find an English teaching job here. And half of them give us foreigners unbelievable benefits. In general, shit is easy here and I am trying to take it easy.

I've basically separated "real life" and "my life in Korea." There's a lot of priveleges I'm gaining from being here - both as a physically looking Korean and as a foreigner. I'm not treated any differently (until they find out I can't really speak Korean), almost every weekend becomes a giant shit show of alcohol induced happiness in an attempt to forget that one horrible class we all have to teach during the week. Taxes are not a problem, the food is great, I'm helped everyday by family and for once in my life I can walk around a place without standing out or getting stares. To everybody else I am just another Korean.

I always cringe, though, whenever I see another foreigner treated differently. Getting yelled at on the street (nothing offensive though, at least, so far), sometimes getting ignored by taxis, etc. Half of me finds it very amusing but then I can't help but sympathize with them as well. Anyway, I can't help but describe this whole experience as semi-charmed, since it comes with the good and the bad, but the bad are just small nit picky things. The good is like, some kind of license to be a stupid person because of your foreign status - something I've taken advantage of from time to time (yeah I HAVE been that loud and rude person from time to time George...and I always feel bad about it afterwards.)

2009-01-03T03:52:00.000-08:00

The New Year sort of snuck up on me this year. Before I knew it, I was only 24 hours away from 2009 and officially working and living in South Korea for 4 long months.

Here in Korea, most family's will spend the new year's eve at a beach. My family (One of my aunts and her family plus another one of my cousins) went to a beach called 강릉 (gang-reung) to spend the night enjoying the festivities and wake up early to the first rising sun of 2009.

Well, the clouds were kind of blocking the whole view, but we eventually saw the sun.

As for...you know, that resolution stuff, I didn't really make any. I never really do the ones I make. But it's another day and another year for new opportunities.

Oh, also, I think I should start living by my principles. Practice what you preach and all that jazz.

Also, a sort of friend/acquaintance of mine has been hurt badly and is going to need some intensive care. I hope you all take care of yourselves.

This update has no photos, sorry

2008-12-22T19:55:00.001-08:00

I'm not used to owning a camera, hence I'm not used to carrying some square piece of electronica around and snapping random plastic bags on the ground while I analyze the beautiful simplicity of life (don't act like you never did something like this when you were a teenager). I wish I had taken my camera out with me this weekend cuz there were lots of things I should have captured on a photo.

I went out to Seoul, that big capital city thing, over the weekend and saw a bunch of C-mont people. I met up with Alex Su and met a bunch of his fulbright friends, where I had several awkward conversations about topics I never talk about such as douchebag med students (cuz I know so many...), making out with random dudes on the subway and LOL WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH KOREAN FOOD.

Then went to a club with several other C-mont people. Normally I wouldn't really try to get back into the club scene...wait no I was never really into a club scene to begin with. Anyway, this club had Drunken Tiger performing there, a hip hop group I was really into in my azn high school days, so I had to check them out. Tiger JK was definitely much more imposing in person. I didn't meet him but even just standing at the back...dang. Anyway, clubbing until 4 am...I haven't done that for a while. Basically I stayed up and waited for the subways to open then I found a hot spa that a friend recommended. Korean hot spas are nice because they provide areas to sleep on with soft mats and pillows and stuff. Plus it's nice and hot. They also have public baths there and so there are lots of naked men and lots of naked man-things that I can't help but awkwardly glance at. I mean, I'm not used to all that nudity - where the fuck am I SUPPOSED to look? At my own junk?

Lastly, I saw a punk scene/group out in Seoul. They had everything down (patched jackets, tight pants, up-to-no-good attitudes). I wanted to tell them I listen to that one leftover crack song but I chickened out. If that one punk concert taught me anything, it's that I am very scared of teenage punks, no matter what country they belong to.

In My Case

2008-12-11T04:48:00.000-08:00

I've noticed that a lot of the Korean English teachers here use 'in my case' very frequently. It's their 'personally' statement and it always sounds a little strange but they learned English through a very grammatically-focused cirriculum. Not like us at all. I learned all my English grammar when I took high school Spanish.

Did you also know that the Korean word for 'foreigners' is "Wae-gook?" You probably did. It's probably where the derisive gook slur came from - the word can sound like "we gook" sometimes so I imagine that a whole bunch of stupid twats (probably during the Korean War) got called waegook a lot but thought the Koreans were calling themselves gooks. Blech.

A Poem: Written by one of my students

2008-12-02T07:51:00.000-08:00

There once was a writer
Who was also a K-1 Fighter
But he doesn't have many fans
And he doesn't have many plans
But he also wins against a tiger.

This shit is DEEP, yo

THIS CULTURE IS SO WEIRD I WANT TO COLONIZE IT ALL OVER AGAIN

2008-11-30T04:02:00.000-08:00

There are some interesting differences between English and Korean that I've discovered so far.

- We use the term 'single' to describe someone who is available and is currently seeing no one. 'Single' in Korean, however, just means that said person is not married. They can have a partner and still be considered single because they are still technically "available." After all, break ups happen all the time no? So if they're not wearing a wedding ring in Korea, apparently it's all fair game.

- Oh shit I forgot the rest of them. I'll update when I think of them again...

How I stopped going to the church I started going to part 2 (part 1?)

2008-11-24T20:50:00.000-08:00

In my last entry, I mentioned that it was a little difficult meeting new people. Obviously the GEPIK workshop was not the best place for me to find some new friends...which is strange since it's not exactly hard to meet new people when you have a whole weekend alone with a bunch of a new people. But as I said, it's hard for me.

Skip ahead to two weeks later. One of my mother's old friends came to visit and she took both of us out to dinner. Her daughter also came along. She had studied in America for a few year so she could speak a little English with me and then surprisingly she invited me to her church.

Now I had stopped going to church a long time ago, but at this point in my time here I was desperate to find a comfortable, safe space to meet new people. And so I had hoped to write an entry about my issues with going to church not for the religious experience but....

I stopped going. I went once and that was it. Organized religion and I can't really function together anymore. So it ruined the whole meeting new people sort of thing. Ah but I did meet a lot of new people in the city. Yay! New people.

How I started going back to church: Part 1

2008-11-06T16:04:00.000-08:00

OBAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

So now that I got that out of the way

I think I've completely adjusted to life in Korea now, which means I'm getting lazier everyday. However, I found a gym and am willing to pay money to get my ass out of my apartment and do some exercise. I will also work on updating this blog more often.

I wanted to talk about the week I spent at the GEPIK teacher orientation. Oh my, meeting new people. It's been so long since I interacted with people I didn't know. Introducing myself and breaking the ice isn't as hard as it used to be for me, but I still suck at socializing.

I've been so used to socializing with people who share the same special interests I do. So when I do meet lots of new people with new cultures, backgrounds and ages, I hesitate cuz that switch in my head goes on and it tells me not to say anything offensive that I would normally say amongst my other friends (e.g. lol white people amirite?). Unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything else to say really. There were lots of lol white people there. Not that they were the majority. But lol.

It's been so long since I've had to interact with a lot of people who aren't really on the same page as I am, in terms of beliefs and a general mindest of how the world works. The real world hit me hard that week to remind me that the real world has a lot of socially popular, charismatic, charming, nonchalant moderate-conservative priveleged people in the world. And they are here in this country as well.

And a disproportionate number of them are marrying Korean women. But that's been common for a while. Still, it's hard to sort out my feelings about this. I can't tell if it's just some repressed nationalism/envy that's going on or I'm just disturbed by seeing this sort of gender power dynamic up close and personal. And then I feel all guilty cuz I'm condemning a couple's 'love' and then I try to convince myself that they just like each other for who they are but then I say 'bullshit' cuz I am a bitter old man.

I got kind of pushed around the first night I was there. Three people were assigned to one hotel room but my roommates didn't show up for the orientation. So I had the room to myself. But that first night someone from the staff showed up to my door asking if I could move into another room with two other guys. Apparently random white dude teacher has a girlfriend teacher in the same program. I think they both got into arguments with their roommates, cuz they wanted to fuck each other and they obviously wanted to do it right now in privacy, so they asked me if I could go. Jesus Christ, I thought, that's not cool. They can't spend 4 nights away from each other's genitals? But I was still in social mode so I moved out like a tool.

And thennnnnnn....oooh my roommates. I had one awesome roommate. Veteran teacher, masters in education, taking a break from writing a book, taught in America, WATCHES STAR TREK, PLAYS STARCRAFT, etc. Then the other dude. Hairy (HAIRY HAIRY HAIRY) middle aged white dude, says he's a writer, writes poetry, macked on one of the female Korean staff as he was talking to me in the Internet Cafe. AAAAAAAAAAnd at dinner, he actually used the colorblind routine. I almost laughed out loud. Really. I never thought I'd hear that from someone face to face. But he did. He looks at me so seriously, points at me and says so proudly -

"I DON'T SEE YOU AS A COLOR. I AM *PAUSE*....COLORBLIND."

At this point I actually told him that there was nothing wrong with him acknowleding I'm colored, because there isn't anything wrong with BEING a color or a minority. Honestly I was trying to change this guy's view but he got really defensive and then explained how he has black friends and black relatives. He went with the 'black friend' argument because there were some black south africans (cuz there are lots of white south africans too...) sitting next to us. Great dude, it's not like you offended me with that comment.....

The workshops themselves were very helpful. One speaker, a current GEPIK teacher, really gave me some insight on how to improve my teaching. A lot of teachers here are like me - recent college grads trying to save some money and have a good time. But we forget that we have a job to do and we all suffer when the teachers don't do their jobs - the students, the school and us. I'm going to keep my job in a more positive perspective from now on, because lately I've been focusing too much on the negative things (which are, honestly, few and far in between) and that has been affecting the level of effort I put into my work.

So in general...that week was really informative but the social awkwardness of it frightened me into never meeting new people ever again. At least, not that many and not all at once. I did make some friends, mostly people around my city and they're my type of person so it's all good.

The weekends are getting more dull each week...which is why I made a strange choice recently....but it's late and I need to get up and teach four classes in a row in the morning. Shit.

A note to myself

2008-10-29T18:06:00.001-07:00

You, Daniel Dong Hyun Shin, need to be more assertive. I'm not suggesting that you go all westerner on these Koreans and start demanding shit. I don't want you to constantly complain about cultural shit that you should have realized would be a small problem for you when you moved to a different country with a different culture from the one you grew up in. You don't do that because you've adjusted pretty well and I'm proud of you! Of course, this adjustment was made easier by the fact that you are Korean in the sense that you were raised by Korean people, in a Korean household.

No no Daniel, I'm suggesting that when you have a good idea, go with it! The other day, someone asked you to prepare an English festival booth for little elementary school children. With pictures! Lots of pictures! And you said, "animals." Animals! That's simple and everybody fucking LOVES animals! Some people love animals in wrong ways, but that's not the point. Animals are easy to learn about and you can make that booth fun by doing stupid shit like act like a gorilla and suddenly YOU'RE A GREAT TEACHER!

Don't let the other teachers get you down when they say that might be too 'hard' because who the fuck can't learn another word for 'bear' besides newborn infants?!?

And don't let it get to you when they say your other idea, talking about national monuments, is wayyyyyy too hard, because IT IS! YOU DUMB FUCK! How're you going to get kids understand how the Statue of Liberty is a false symbol of hope and freedom, whose only purpose is to give a metaphorical middle finger to incoming immigrants who will be oppressed to no end!?!?! You can't!

And when the same teachers decide to do a new idea for the English booth YOU are in charge in for a whole day, don't get discouraged. Just try to do a good job working on this new idea for the booth, which is..........an ANIMAL PICTURE BOOTH?!?!?

Ok, so I know that's the first idea you pitched, which was rejected, but is now somehow magically a NEW IDEA made up by this teacher who is helping you, but this whole clusterfuck is partly your fault because you weren't assertive enough! Seriously, it was a great idea! So great, that when hearing it, someone most of had an aneurism, which made them forget about that idea consciously but it was still IN THEIR HEAD somewhere. And one day while they were looking through your collection of national monument pictures you collected from google, they must have said "oh fuck, those children are gonna shit themselves like a bunch of chimpanzees trying to figure this out," when suddenly, ANIMALS pops into their head. And they go "WOW, that's a pretty good fuck idea!." And you have to hear someone else pitch your same idea all over again!

Daniel, be more assertive! Show more courage! Push it to the limit! And do your best to finish this project and make it a good show! Also, get some candy for these kids.

An update that dwarf's all other updates

2008-10-13T00:11:00.000-07:00

It's been a while guys. I hope you people in the States are hanging in there with the American Economy taking a nose dive into the pile of shit we've slowly been accumulating over the years. All you other peeps in different countries (so, basically, George and maybe Tiff), LET'S GO BUY FUR COATS.

Last week was midterm week, so all the boys were busy taking tests for the whole week. This week is a blessing for the rest of the teachers, as it's one of the few weeks of the year that they can relax at school. Or if you're like me, work on more lesson plans. None of the teachers have to teach anything, they only come to school to proctor tests. Except for me, that is. I'm not a real teacher so I didn't get to do anything, but DUR HUR I still had to come. So I came to work and did nothing but lesson planning and facebook stalking.

Last Thursday was a great break from, um, doing nothing, because it was the school picnic! We went all da way to Disneyland Korea (Everland) and I pretended to be a stupid kid again! It was actually very fun because I'm starting to hate thrillparks like Six Flags and starting to love atmosphere-centered parks like Disneyland. It was actually much more impressive than Disneyland, not because of size or rides, but it's just much more aesthetically pleasing. Beautiful flower gardens, massize Vegas-style fountains and hotels within the park and a zoo as well! Plus lots of white people who play a bunch of random white people roles. I didn't know the Phantom of the Opera was a popular guy amongst the kids. Anyway, I can't show you the pictures here but you should go to my facebook album. You've probably already seen it.

Last Saturday my mother and I went to a nearby city to find my grandfather's grave. This is my father's father we're talking about. In general, in this filial-piety-centered Korean society, the father's father gets a lot of respect and it's especially that the grandson, the one who will carry on the family name, pay that respect. Unfortunately, I only met this man once in my American lifetime and I don't remember much. I always wondered what he thought of me and my family, what he thought about how I grew up and what he thought about my complete lack of korean language fluency (I'm sure he didn't like it....). This train of thought always makes me wonder how I would have turned out if I had grown up in my native country; a thought most of us have had sometime in our lives. Then I feel sad that I've let down this man I barely knew but should have known. Paying my respects is the only thing I can do for him now.

Tomorrow I'm off to Yongin for my program's quarter Orientation program which I just found out about today during work. So, no work this week, I get to play ice breakers (PLEASE MAKE US PLAY BOOM CHIKA BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM) and meet even more new people.

NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE.

Bye.

I met a new person today

2008-09-29T05:53:00.000-07:00

She is teaching English at the all-girl middle school across town.

Also, she's French but lives in South Africa. And her name is Amelie.

I can't wait to find out how she constructs race.

A Clusterf*ck of things that happened today

2008-09-27T07:16:00.000-07:00

1) In an attempt to spice up my cooking skills, I tried to make this katsu dish that I've seen in Western-style restaurants around here: Pizza Katsu. The "pizza" part was limited to basically "sauce" and "cheese" but think about it guys: what else is on your standard pizza except for sauce, cheese and the dough? Do not attempt to correct me by listing all the toppings; I thought it would be all kinds of redundant to put more meat on top of my meat pizza. I'm making it out of katsu, remember?

Unfortunately, my local supermarket did not have oregano or any basic tomato paste/tomato sauce. I had to settle for pre-prepared spaghetti sauce as the base for my pizza sauce. The taste was, for some strange reason, really sweet.

So these were my basic ingredients - some "fruit" sugar (to counter-act all the garlic I added to the sauce in case I added too much since I don't actually have "teaspoons"), mozarella cheese, olive oil, pepper, the said katsu and the spaghetti sauce.

This katsu was pre made and given to me by my grandmama. It is full of grandmotherly love and some chicken. Maybe some cheese too because this white, gooey stuff leaked out. No, that was probably the love.

SAUCE. I put in enough garlic to make it actually taste like some kind of italian sauce. Added too much pepper (spicy but not in a good way...) so I'll have to remember that. Also, I cooked too much sauce. Will remember that for next time.

The finished katsu....
so, this isn't very aesthetically pleasing. At first I had smeared on a good amount, but found myself looking at some kind of huge red blot. I added the cheese but I did it by chunks (no cheese grater - it's for these moments that you really need those cheese graters, fruit peelers, citrus zester's and ravioli climpers). Then I realized that I made too much sauce, so I poured the rest on. Lemme tell you though, this shit was so cash (re: it was good).

2) I absolutely HATE using public bathrooms. The mess I was unfortunate enough to look on today....dear God, how was that humanly possible....

3) I just got paid. Apparently, according to some Korean tradition, my first paycheck should be used to buy all my relatives some underwear. I have 5 aunts and 1 uncle currently living in my area. They in turn have produced 12 cousins. So, yeah, uh, I'm not done shopping for them yet but....well, anyway, I also bought this expensive jacket. I don't think I'll be using it anytime soon though. The night scene is weak. Also, I really need a drink. It's hard to pretend to be alcohol-abstinent here around my conservative mother. Maybe that point should be number 4.

2008-09-26T00:24:00.000-07:00

I remember Elisa saying something along the lines of "after I finished this year of teaching, my patience level will be over 9000." Or something. I always thought I had great patience - putting up with idiots through my own public school experience has honed my "don't kick them in the balls" skills and has successfully stopped any impulses to kick said balls.

The reason I say kick balls is all the freaking jerks I've met in my life have mostly been men. Or in this f-ing case, boys.

You have no idea how CLOSE I am to actually participating in this school's system of corporal punishment.

Thank god for that weekend.

Oh, also, it turns out that I'm teaching - not the English teachers - just the Teacher teachers. The ones who don't speak English. And they are very good listeners. What a nice change of pace.

This job makes me itchy

2008-09-23T04:44:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's the job or something I ate, or maybe something I'm wearing but I keep getting little itchy bumps here and there on my arms and legs. Hmmm. This is annoying.

I started my job here at Icheon Middle School about three weeks ago. I started with no real experience teaching in a classroom setting but I've gotten used to it. At least, I think so. My job is to improve these kids' English pronunciation by making them practice English with me every class. The whole thing is a slow process - I'd LIKE to introduce them to a lot of common vocabulary they don't know yet, but at the moment it's midterm season and I'm supposed to prepare them for their upcoming English midterm. Supposedly it will consist of everyday conversations like

Ordering at a fast food restaurant
Calling your friend over the telephone
Checking into Customs at an Airport

But I want to get to the important stuff, the stuff we folk from the West ACTUALLY use such as:

AWESOME pick up lines (e.g. IS THERE A MIRROR IN YOUR PANTS BECAUSE I WANNA HAVE SEX WITH YOU)
How to successfully diss someone over the internet
How to step up your game with some fresh lyricz and beatz

I'm also in charge of an elective English class after school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This class is something I look forward to, since I have complete control over the subject matter. Today I introduced those kids to some American history - slavery, Harriet Tubman, Abe Lincoln and Martin Luther King Jr. I had a little trouble with translations and such, but I think they got the point of the lesson - DISCRIMINATION = BAD. If you have any suggestions as to what I should teach next, please let me know. I'm going to talk about Tall Tales next week.

Finally, for some reason I am going to teach an English class to the English Teachers at the school. This just seems like an attempt to squeeze the most out of my contract with the school because these teachers are actually very competent at English. Sure, they don't really know any colloquial English. Sure, I can't really discuss the finer points of the '08 campaign, globalization and why there aren't any f*cking Lucky Charms in the country, but most of them could pass off as Americans with their English knowledge and level of pronunciation. But I guess it's a good opportunity for them to level up their English skillz.

Ahhh, and the students. Oh the students. Most of them I haven't gotten to know. There are a few that I have gotten to know and they are PRECIOUS. Almost everyday these two boys come into the Teacher's Office to talk to me, walking in while holding hands and smiling. I think they're getting better at their English (I hope so, God I hope so). Then there are the kids who don't care but it's not my job to discipline students. Luckily whenever I have to teach a class, there's an English Teacher in the classroom ready to SHUT THEM UP.

...Except for this one teacher, who, in comparison to all the other English Teachers, excessively babies her students. As a result, they will not shut up. Even when I yell at them they won't shut up. I don't look forward to teaching those classes.....

That's all for now. Midterm's are coming up in a few weeks so I'll be busy. Apparently after midterms the school sponsors a class "picnic". But instead of a weak-ass year end picnic at the water slide (like the one I got when I was in middle school) this school will be taking us to the Korean equivalent of Disneyland - Everland. Next entry folks!

BTW, I totally made this by myself. It's supposed to be omurice. I overcooked the egg a little and I got sloppy towards the end, but not bad for the first try.

HAY GUYZ

2008-09-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

It's been one busy day after another one here. I still manage to fit in facebook and other internet things every other minute or so, but I haven't found the time to make a substantial update. Go read this guy's blog instead, he is OUTSTANDING. And probably tastes like pizza crusts.

http://mehererightnow.blogspot.com/

FARM

2008-08-29T01:50:00.001-07:00

Hello. For your convenience and in the interest of our mutual desire to resist the MAN and his creepy internet laws, you are now allowed to make anonymous comments on ma blog without having to have a google account.

Anyway, I'll be moving into my apartment soon - it's ok, it's a two bedroom loft, so now I can finally create an imaginary friend who I'll have fights with and when it gets really bad I'll just go sleep in the other room - but will not have any internet for a while. I thought I'd leave you with some pics of my grandma's farm.

These are what my grandmother sells/eats for a living: peppers. mmm-mmm, just looking at these peppers makes my taste buds begin to kill themselves in order to avoid the spicy pain.

This is outside of my late-grandfather's brother's house. He has a nice flower patch. Wait, what do you call your grandfather's brother in english? The english translation for the Korean term is literally "Bigger/Older Grandfather".

Fields of leeks? Or some kind of green, tall plant thingy.

The courtyard outside the house.

Dog #1. His name is Dora. I think they named him after the famous, spanish explorer.

Dog #2. Don't know her name.

Dog #3. Don't know her name either. WON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP WHEN I'M NEAR HER.

The house.

I'll have more to talk about later. I start my first classes next Monday! Miss you all and hope you're all well!

OMG SHRIMP PIZZA

2008-08-27T03:45:00.000-07:00

I never believed
I'd be able to have a little slice of heaven
until I met you
Shrimp Pizza

Mountain

2008-08-25T22:54:00.000-07:00

Indeed, one of the most important rules I've forgotten is the "pix or it didn't happen." So I'll show you what I did today; climb an effing mountain. It was pretty bad; I'm very out of shape and I'm still very afraid of heights. Oh well.

some sign for some road up the mountain

My uncle and one of my cousins. Plus the dog. God, they didn't stop once on the wayup

The view from the top of the mountain.

2008-08-25T05:17:00.000-07:00

Hello. For the two or three of you who are reading this, I'm giving you an update on how I'm doing here in Korea so far.

I don't have much to say at this point, even after being in Korea for about 5 days. This particular city that I'm living in (Icheon) is mostly a rural area. There's a main, more industrial city that's about 15 minutes away from my grandmother's farm, but compared to what I've seen in other cities like Seoul (the one time I went that is...) it's pretty weak. It's still a nice area.

So guys, apparently when you go abroad, one of the first things you write about in your abroad blogspot blog is the "culture shock."

Culture shock, eh?

I've been here before so there's been little to no "shock" since I've been here. I'm more used to the subtleties of Korean culture, I guess, so these things don't really get to me.

What 'things' you ask? Things like:
1) no regard for pedestrian safety (you really can die easily if you don't look both ways here)
2) negotiating the price of anything that's for sale. ANYTHING. Whether it be clothes, food or a circumcision, you never have to pay the retail price. If you, yes YOU, ever come here, you'd better fucking WHINE about how expensive that kimchi is. Then you'll get it next to NOTHING.
3) Toll booths are everywhere. Just take public transport, which is like, the best way to get around this country.

There's more to that list. But I have to think real hard about what else is different.

Lastly, today I paid a visit to the school I'd be working at. I had a meeting with the Principal and vice Principal and I thought that it would be...awkward, but they were very nice. My mother tells me they're only nice to me now since they just met me. Sad. The english teachers, who all speak perfect english btw, weren't expecting me but they were all very nice as well. I'd hate to think that they were also being fake about, ya know, that whole being nice to me thing, but we'll see where this relationship goes. The interesting thing is, I am the first foreign teacher's assistant that this school will have. I guess no one wanted to live out here in the boonies.

Well, I would have liked to stimulate your senses with some pictures of big Korean buildings and other shiny things but there's nothing like that out here, really. Unless you guys wanna see pictures of the farm. Do you? Let me know.

Bye for now